lib/string_helpers.c: change semantics of string_escape_mem

The current semantics of string_escape_mem are inadequate for one of its
current users, vsnprintf().  If that is to honour its contract, it must
know how much space would be needed for the entire escaped buffer, and
string_escape_mem provides no way of obtaining that (short of allocating a
large enough buffer (~4 times input string) to let it play with, and
that's definitely a big no-no inside vsnprintf).

So change the semantics for string_escape_mem to be more snprintf-like:
Return the size of the output that would be generated if the destination
buffer was big enough, but of course still only write to the part of dst
it is allowed to, and (contrary to snprintf) don't do '\0'-termination.
It is then up to the caller to detect whether output was truncated and to
append a '\0' if desired.  Also, we must output partial escape sequences,
otherwise a call such as snprintf(buf, 3, "%1pE", "\123") would cause
printf to write a \0 to buf[2] but leaving...